Sometime's kids can be cruel

 Today I am going to discuss bullying. there was an incident yesterday and it really has my head spinning. I almost lost my shit. My child was being bullied and said he was going to kill himself he had a plan and it absolutely terrified me!!

    I will start at the beginning. It all started when my son Jude was in third grade. He had horrible anxiety and would pick his skin and leave sores on his arms. I would buy sleeves to cover his arms so he wouldn't pick but it didn't work. Anyway, kids would corner him and call him scab boy. Because of his DMD he wasn't as fast as they were so they would make fun of him for that. He would have behaviour outburst because of the bullying. Cussing spells so he would be the one to get into trouble at school. I asked him why he did that and he said I am not strong enough to fight back so I use words. I do not know how many trips I made to the school that year. The teacher at the time was not helpful at all. He basically let things happen. It was just horrible.

  There was 3 kids that were doing this to Jude. One of the kids mom's called me she had caught the kids being cruel to Jude and she wanted to make it stop. She had talked to her son and told him your bullying a kid because of his disability. This child has High Functioning autism. After realizing this he changed. He quit. He became a very good friend to Jude. He is a good kid and we love him to death now.   The other 2 kids one was actually a distant relative of ours and had a troubled home life. The other kid also had a troubled home life. But that is no excuse to hurt another kid. Bring that kid down. At the end of the school year we had had enough. The school was not doing anything about these other kids so I told Jude to take it in his own hands. So he did. The main kid was bothering Jude the last day of school so Jude dumped his food tray on him and called him a bad name. Of course he got into trouble. I went to pick him up and I said to him right in front of the principal. You did good. No one else was going to help you so you did what you had to do. I also looked at the principal and told her he is not in trouble you should have stopped this sooner!!

  So moving forward to the next couple years. Jude had more behavior problems which a lot was  from the bullying but also because kids with DMD have issues.. The brain is a muscle and it causes different behaviors. Jude was also still bullied a little in 4th grade but in 5th and 6th the bullies had moved to another school and he had some relief. But those issues were still going on in his head. He became very depressed. One teacher in 5th grade told me at a school meeting that he was the most depressed kid she had seen. It broke my heart. I do everything I can to make his life easy. But I know now it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with his past and his struggles.

 Now lets move to yesterday. It started at lunch. His friends which by the way are all girls. Were sitting at a table he couldn't get to with his wheelchair. So he started feeling sorry for himself. He went to the lunch detention room and sat for the remainder of lunch by himself. After lunch he went to 4th period and because he was already depressed and feeling sorry for himself he started acting annoying. Another kid started threatening Jude saying I want to hit him. I would hit him but his mom would sue the school and me. So since he couldn't hit Jude the kid decided to think it was ok to start making fun of him for being in a wheelchair. He was saying why are you in a chair when you can walk why do you need a $6,000 chair when you could use a Cain. Why do you need shoes if your in a chair. and saying some really cruel things. So Jude said I am just going to slit my own throat.

  Come to find out Jude had a plan. His plan was to make it look like someone pushed him out of his chair by some stairs so his neck would be broke and he would die. I was sick after hearing this. I already worry every single day my baby will lose his life early because of his DMD. It is my worst fear. This morning I was terrified to send him to school. I was so scared someone would say something bad to him and he would just say screw it and drive his chair down the stairs himself. The school counselor called this morning and I told her all that had happened after I picked Jude up and asked if I could come one day and talk with the kids about Jude's disease. I am hoping they are old enough to hear the ugly terrifying truth of his disease. I am hoping they will hear and not be so cruel. I am hoping that they will all love one another.

    Kids can be cruel. Sometimes it is the parents fault. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes kids just don't  understand how words can be deadly. Kids are not like they were in my day they are weak minded.
We as the older generation need to start teaching our children to be strong and kind. I as a parent need to teach my kids to be stronger and kinder. We need to teach our kids about how ugly and scary real life is. We want to protect them from the big bad world when we need to be making them ready for the big bad world. I am just as guilty.  And as of today I will be teaching my kids life is not fun and games. Life is hard. But we have to be strong pull our pants up and hit that day like it is our last. Make it count. Make something of ourselves. Make our life great.

 So my words of advice today go for all parents and adults. And mostly to myself. Teach your kids to not be so cruel. Teach them to love one another. Once day that person you made fun of may not be there the next day because of something you may have said to them that hurt them.

     And to parents who's children are the bullied. Teach them to love themselves. Teach them to be strong and get them help ASAP!!